Confessions of a NonSmiler

I've been told more than once that I often seem unapproachable. Even mean. And yes, I guess I can understand this. Just to let you know, though, I'm not mean. Just way-too-afraid of rejection. I don't make friends quickly or easily. I push the world away in an unconscious act of self-preservation.
And I've decided to work on this.
So today, I practiced smiling. I'm smiling right now  as I'm typing this. See: :)
So I smiled as I joined a friend for lunch. And I smiled as I slowly savored my hot fudge sundae with cookie dough ice cream. Hey -- I'm pretty good at this. This is actually easy.
I smiled as I did some cleaning, sorted some papers, and flipped through my text book. I smiled as I logged onto facebook and scrolled through my news feed. So far so good.
But then it became a bit more challenging. My smile slipped a bit when I found out the actual cost to repair a leaking strut. And it waivored when the cost of new front brakes was kindly tacked on. The burnt out brake light may have turned it into a wince for just a moment... But I smiled as I signed the work order.
As I searched for a comfy spot to sit, my smile must have slipped a bit because when I met the eye of the older gentleman across the room I realized I wasn't smiling. So I smiled at him as I sank into a seat and pulled out my phone to check in with my on-line class.
Suddenly I hear in a whisper from behind a hand, "Thank you for that pretty smile." Surprised, I looked up into his smiling face. I laughed, smiled again and said, "Anytime."
Later, when he gathered up his bags to leave, he leaned over and said, "Have a nice day, honey." And he walked away a friend. Suddenly the huge check I was about to write seemed so small next to the gift I had been given.
My heart overflowed.
And I smiled.