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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Today's the Day

Today's the day I swore would never come.
It's the day I drive my little one to boarding school and drop him off.
I can still so clearly remember the day I was dropped off. I was 12. New to Africa. New to boarding school. 
My dad carried my old suitcase into my new room and set it down in the middle of the floor.
There were two dressers, two desks, two beds, and a curtain for a door. I didn't know which bed was mine, so I sat down on my suitcase as my parents said good-bye and walked away
leaving me behind...
I promised to never do that to my own child.
But I'm going to. Today.
Granted, he's very excited about the whole thing. 
He's 18. He chose the school -- he chose to go to school. It's not like I'm leaving him behind. It's more like -- like he's leaving me behind...
And for a moment I'm back sitting on that suitcase. 
But just for a moment.
Because life moves on. And Life Is Good.
The last 18 years are Proof of that!
I'm letting him go.
Gracefully. Gratefully. As the Abba Who will never leave me holds my heart.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

A dance in joy, spin till you're dizzy, laugh out loud day


Today was a butterfly day.
A dance in joy, spin till you’re dizzy, laugh out loud day.
One of those days that leaves your soul calmly knowing that Life Is Good.
What was so good about it? Actually, I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s just one of those things where the whole is so much greater than the sum of its parts.
                                     
So here are the parts:
  • ·         I woke up to hugs from Mom and Dad as they left on their road trip
  • ·         I wore a new dress
  • ·         I had a honey barbecue chicken sandwich and a pineapple chiller for lunch
  • ·         I bought an iPad with a pretty pink case
  • ·         I got to watch the raindrops run up my windshield on the way home
  • ·         I had a text chat with my son (as he scolded me for wasting money on a pretty pink case)
  • ·         I finished reading another chapter in a book

Looking back over that list, I’m grinning ear to ear but you’re probably not seeing a lot that will add up to much of anything. So, with a little more detail:
  • ·         Hugs – my family doesn’t do that much. So when we do, I treasure it.
  • ·         New dress – it was actually a new-to-me dress that I bought super cheap at Savers, but from the compliments I got today, I felt like I was wearing – well, something not super cheap.
  • ·         Honey barbecue chicken sandwich with pineapple chiller – that is my third favorite food of all time. Second is the broccoli, cheddar chicken that Cracker Barrel makes on Wednesdays. First is a plate of fries smothered in that sweet red sauce made in that little restaurant by the pool in Bouake…
  • ·         iPad – admit it, you’d be smiling, too.
  • ·         Raindrops – this one is two-fold. First, I love rain. This probably has something to do with those hot, dry, days (weeks, months, years???) in Bouake and the euphoria that comes with playing soccer in the mango rains. But also now that I’ve got RainX on my windshield, when I’m driving in the rain it looks like I’m going at warp speed with Spock and McKoy.
  • ·         Text chat with my son – Yeah, ‘nuff said there.  :D
  • ·         Finished chapter – in a text book. For a doctoral class. I’m actually doing it. I’m actually going there. Dreams do come true.
Today was a great day.
But I didn’t even mention the greatest part.
Today at church, I saw a hurting friend. I went over to her, hugged her, and whispered of my prayers. Later as I prayed for her, I thought about how those broken, empty, lonely moments are the times when we realize how much we need God’s solid, strong, saving love. That’s when we cling to Him as He longs to be clung to.
So often I wander off and do my own thing, buying dresses and iPads and reading books, eating honey barbecue chicken, and slowly drifting away from what I need most. What I only really know I need when my world is falling apart.
And it felt so right to remember Him on a good day. On a not-falling-apart-day. On a puddle-jumping, giggling, didn’t-even-realize-I-needed-Him day. Because I do. I always do.
And He’s always there…