Every now and then, cancer wins.
It’s usually around a milestone, or when I’m enduring a long
wait for biopsy results. Something will get the thoughts going again, and
without even realizing it I begin putting plans on hold and hurrying home each
day to curl up in my comfort zone.
I’m still cheerful. I’m still hopeful. But I become very
cautious and careful.
I stop stepping out and living courageously.
And cancer wins.
But then, suddenly, something will happen that proves to my
frightened heart that I am still ALIVE and the calculations and statistics get
stuffed back into the medical binder. The symptoms fade back into
insignificance, and CANCER slips silently back into the past.
I remember chatting once with another cancer survivor about
our hesitance to make long term plans.
At the time I was thinking about getting a pet, but I hadn’t
been able to talk myself into doing it. There were so many 'What if”s and 'We
don’t know what tomorrow will bring's.
Now, as I sit watching my fifteen pound Stella perched on
the back of a rocking chair gazing fixidly up at the tiny moth on the
chandelier, I’m so laughingly grateful that I did it.
We can’t stop making plans because we’re afraid of what
tomorrow might bring. We need to make plans in spite of what tomorrow might
bring. Because of it. Sure – the plans may fall through, or need some major
last minute tweaking. But they might just be magnificent.
Only God knows what tomorrow will bring. Or the 300th
year after tomorrow. Or 3-5 years from May 18th… Let’s not live like
we’re dying anymore.
Let’s live like we’re still alive!
