Snow Day

What a wonderful day.

The snow day announcement came over the loudspeaker in school yesterday, so I didn’t have to set my alarm when I crawled into bed last night.

When I woke up this morning, I ventured out from under the covers only long enough to grab my phone, then dove back into bed. After tending my island, reading my mail, and stalking friends on facebook, I began to ponder what to do with this brand new, no-strings-attached day. And I decided to take a walk.

 I bundled up in multiple layers, squished my toes into my pink boots, pulled my mom’s old knit hat down over my ears, wrapped my favorite green scarf around my face and headed out to the dam.

And here’s where my fingers begin to stumble and backspace. Because I don’t have the words to describe that walk. It was cold, but not uncomfortably so. And it was snowing – but soft, tiny, sparse snowflakes. There was a white layer over the ground, but not enough for me to leave footprints behind. Just enough to muffle all the ordinary sounds of a busy life.

I took the path through the woods instead of over the dam. When I came to the little board bridge, I stepped on one board at a time, dedicating each board to whoever God brought to mind and I prayed for them. As I stepped off the last board, I saw the next Frisbee golf post, with its black number 8. And I began praying for all of my little ones who were having their day off from Room 8, math, and homework.

 

My official job is to teach reading, writing, and arithmetic to the children in Room 8. But my Real job, is to give those little hearts hope that there is so much more to life.

But lately, it’s been so hard to do that.

Because lately, that hope has so often felt just out of my own reach.

And at that collective gasp from the audience, I feel an immediate need to backtrack a bit and try to explain. I have not lost my Hope of eternal security. I have not lost my sure knowledge of the One Who gave His Son to redeem me. I have not turned my back on the Great Creator Who will never turn His back on any of us.

I’ve just grown tired. Weary. Empty.

It’s been a hard year… And it’s so hard to give when you feel like you’ve got nothing…

But I kept walking, and I kept whispering these thoughts to my Abba. At one spot, the path led down onto the frozen lake, so I followed it. I took a couple of steps when suddenly, my foot slipped on the ice. Instead of going down, I found myself twirling in a tight circle – dancing on frozen water with my Abba. 

a snow covered heart...

And that was the point in the walk where I stopped talking to Abba, and He started talking to me.

He is the Almighty. He loves me with all that Love can be. He freezes water so that we can dance on top of it with Him. He brings Purpose into Pain and turns Loss into the greatest Gift…He meets our every need in such surprising ways.

I kept walking. The snow began falling more thickly, my toes began to sting with cold. But I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to climb back down from this mountaintop experience. I didn’t want to fall back into ordinary existence, slipping back into the rut of my life.

But He’s asked us to be in the world.

 We can’t live up on the mountaintop.

Not yet, at least…

So now, I’m at home. Curled up on the couch with the electric fireplace cranked up to 82 and the hot chocolate water coming to a boil, trying to remember that feeling just enough to share it with you.

And so grateful that, once again, He knew exactly what I needed.

Him.