Today

Every now and again, I begin to wonder what on earth I’m here for. Am I fulfilling my purpose? Am I making a difference? Or am I simply getting up in the morning and getting through each day? Am I wasting my time?

So today, I took notes. Here’s what I came away with:

Today – I got stuck behind a schoolbus on the way to work – and only complained for a little before I prayed for all the people on the bus.

Today I ate an apple.

Today I danced in the hallway with a child because he had a good morning.

Today I sat on the floor and read a book out loud.

Today I typed up the minutes from our last deacons’ meeting.

Today I listened to a 25 year old man proudly reading the two page report he’d written this morning.

Today I puddle jumped.

Today I walked 10,800 steps.

Today I crouched by the chair of a crying student, and listened, until he was ready to smile again.

Today I spent time on my knees with the Beginner of time.

Today I showed a group of students how to work together to learn something new.

Today I found a partner for a lonely child.

Today I taught an angry child how to spell ‘squid’ as I sat calmly beside him.

Today I shared advice with the sub next door.

Today I modeled good behavior in the hallway – and then celebrated with my class when the principal complemented them on their own good behavior.

Today I listened to 12 students reading the realistic fiction stories they’d written, and I edited 12 more.

Today I laughed at a child’s joke – not because it was funny, but because he had so much fun telling it.

Today I watched a light turn on in a little mind that suddenly understood double digit subtraction with regrouping.

Today I played with my adopted kitten until she was an exhausted purring puddle on the carpet.

Today I exercised.

Today I walked up the same flight of stairs six times.

Today I read a chapter in God’s love letter to me.

Today I colored in ten more boxes on the hundreds chart on our Wall of Fame.

Today I let my students ask questions and get me off the lesson plan, because I knew they would learn more.

Today I danced with a child in the hallway because he’d turned a bad afternoon around.

Today I told my students about a mistake I had made, to show them that it's ok to make mistakes.

Today I texted my son to remind him he is loved.

Today I hi-fived a boy for finishing a test.

Today I got more hugs than I could count.

Today I sat down to blog.

So what do you think?

I’m thinking I might be in the right place after all…

How about you? What did you do today?

My Resolution

Happy New Year!

I realize that I’m a little late posting my New Year’s resolutions. Most people have already broken theirs by now. But I wanted to be sure this year. I wanted to come up with something fabulous and truly life changing. After all, according to my long-ago teenage self, this is the year I turn “really, really old.” I need to make it count.

While Christmas shopping, I bought myself a Fitbit bracelet. I’ve been tracking my calories (consumed and destroyed) as well as exercising daily. I’ve been walking more and I even hit my fitbit’s goal of 10,000 steps three days in a row (the first time was in the Dairy Queen parking lot heading to my car after savoring a hot fudge Sunday. I almost turned around to go back in and celebrate!). 

A friend posted on Facebook that she was going to do The Daniel Plan. Always looking for an excuse to buy another book, I got onto Amazon and placed an order. The last package (you need to spend $35 to get free shipping, so you can’t just buy one book) arrived yesterday, and this morning I plopped down on the couch and read the first three chapters.

Yup. There’s a New Year’s resolution in there somewhere.  And it’s a big one. I suggest you read it…

So here it is. This year, in 2014, I want to become healthy in all realms of my life: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

It’s going to be a lot of work, and I won’t be able to do it on my own. But My God wants to see me succeed even more than I do. And then, there’s always all of you, right? 

So today’s task was to sit down and figure out: What does spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy look like?

Hmm. Well, here goes. To me being healthy means that my bills are paid, I’m fully connected with family and friends, my house is clean (to my standards, perhaps not my Grandmother’s), my sink is not overflowing with dirty dishes, and the laundry hamper lid can close. I escape often to meet my Savior in the woods, or down by the lake. I do my job well, am an appropriate weight, and have clothes that fit me nicely. I’m able to climb the occasional mountain and do jump and jacks with my students. I have mental clarity, and can make decisions quickly and confidently. My hair is healthy, my nails are painted, my heartburn is under control. My teeth are clean and my breath smells nice; my feet and back don’t hurt. I don’t worry about opinions, don’t hide in my hermit cave, and I don’t pursue reconstruction procedures because I feel that I ought to but I take the brave steps that my heart longs to. I laugh daily, giggle occasionally, and my soul is filled to the brim with a gentle joy and His quiet peace. 

And there it is. My New Year’s resolution.

I’m going to strive to become the Me He created me to be.

So here’s my question for you. What does healthy look like in you?

Live Like You're Alive

Every now and then, cancer wins.

It’s usually around a milestone, or when I’m enduring a long wait for biopsy results. Something will get the thoughts going again, and without even realizing it I begin putting plans on hold and hurrying home each day to curl up in my comfort zone.

I’m still cheerful. I’m still hopeful. But I become very cautious and careful.

I stop stepping out and living courageously.

And cancer wins.

But then, suddenly, something will happen that proves to my frightened heart that I am still ALIVE and the calculations and statistics get stuffed back into the medical binder. The symptoms fade back into insignificance, and CANCER slips silently back into the past.

I remember chatting once with another cancer survivor about our hesitance to make long term plans.

At the time I was thinking about getting a pet, but I hadn’t been able to talk myself into doing it. There were so many 'What if”s and 'We don’t know what tomorrow will bring's. 

Now, as I sit watching my fifteen pound Stella perched on the back of a rocking chair gazing fixidly up at the tiny moth on the chandelier, I’m so laughingly grateful that I did it.

We can’t stop making plans because we’re afraid of what tomorrow might bring. We need to make plans in spite of what tomorrow might bring. Because of it. Sure – the plans may fall through, or need some major last minute tweaking. But they might just be magnificent.

Only God knows what tomorrow will bring. Or the 300^th year after tomorrow. Or 3-5 years from May 18^th… Let’s not live like we’re dying anymore.

Let’s live like we’re still alive!